Know You're Going to Make it Through the Rain
by Halawen
Summary: Clare's amazing night turns to horror and her world shatters, her own boyfriend turns his back on her. Who will be there to keep her from losing it and be her strength when she has none? Dark and intense at the beginning please read with caution. A/U fic with Clare, Owen, Bianca, Fitz, Drew and Adam. One shot.


**This is the last one shot for one shot week. The next one shot week will be the week of April 6****th**** through the 12****th****.**

**Also the poll for the most wanted sequel is down and my writing schedule for February and March have been posted to the website. I will announce what will happen for the sequels after I decide.**

**Legal: I own nothing but the idea**

**All the stuff to know before reading:**

***Takes place during 12A A/U starting with Waterfalls pt1 **

***Clare and Eli did get back together at the start of the semester**

**TRIGGER WARNING read with caution!**

**The first part is pretty intense those that don't like the dark intense may want to skim**

**It's very ****very**** long so get comfortable.**

**Know You're Going to Make it Through the Rain**

**(CLARE)**

My night could not be going better. I had spent most of it with Asher working on the article I wrote for Eli's play. At first I had been so embarrassed because Asher had to fix so many things, he had encouraged me though and I learned so much from him. We stayed late and Asher offered to drive me home so we were currently in his car on the way to my place. I knew I wouldn't get in trouble for being late because no one else was home.

"This is it," I tell Asher when we pull up to my house.

"Looks dark, is everyone asleep it's not that late?" Asher comments looking at the clock in his car that reads 10:38.

"No everyone is gone," I reply.

"And they left you all alone?"

"I'm almost seventeen; anyway they're supposed to be back Sunday night. My stepbrother's grandma is sick so they all went to take care of her. I've only met her once and didn't feel comfortable going, besides I didn't want to miss that many days of my internship," I respond and see Asher smile.

"You know as long as I'm here I'd love to see your room," Asher comments.

"My room? Why?"

"To see where the creative mind of Clare Edwards is cultivated. The things around you, what you decide to put in your room it tells the story of Clare Edwards and that's a story I want to read," Asher tells me. The fact that Asher Shostak, my mentor and journalistic idol wants to see my room makes my heart flutter with pride. I can't believe Asher wants to see my room, where I write!

"Okay," I nod getting out of the car and Asher follows me. I unlock the door and he comes in with me, I turn the porch light on for when Asher leaves and the light in the stairs. Asher follows me up; I open the door to my room and turn on the light. "Well this is it," I comment putting down my purse and motioning to my room.

Asher starts looking around with interest, closely examining the posters on my wall, and then the books on my shelves. He looks at each title, his fingers running over some of the books, smiles at the picture of me as a baby.

"You have a lot of the classics," Asher comments still looking at my books.

"Yeah I love the classics," I smile sitting on my bed.

"Impressive few kids read any of these books unless required at school," Asher remarks and my smile grows.

"I love to read, it's practically all I did when I was younger," I say and now Asher smiles.

"Who's this?" Asher asks picking a picture up from desk and sits next to me on my bed. My stomach jumps, my heart races, somewhere deep inside a feeling of fear begins growing but I pay no attention. I really wish I had.

"That's my older sister Darcy, she's in Africa and we barely hear from her."

"What is she doing in Africa?" Asher questions.

"She went to build schools and stuff, she's doing a lot of good I just wish she'd be in touch more," I comment.

"Always sad when a family drifts apart," Asher says reaching across me to set the picture down on my nightstand. When he does this he braces himself by putting his other hand on my knee. I don't really worry about it until he doesn't straighten up; he keeps his hand on my knee and looks at me. There's something in his eyes, something I've never seen before and it's a look that will haunt me so long as I live. "You are very special girl Clare, a woman really, I knew you were special the moment I read your essay about why you should intern with me and was so pleased when I first saw you."

I have no time to react, to say or do anything, think or even breathe as he crushes his lips to mine pushing me back on the bed! I try to scream but his tongue is shoved down my throat and I can't breathe. It doesn't seem real, a huge part of me thinks this is a dream, and that I fell asleep while fixing the article. This can't actually be happening can it? My co-op boss, my mentor can't actually be assaulting me can he?

While I struggle to breathe and pray this is a bad dream Asher picks up my legs and turns them so I'm lying on the bed. He never breaks the kiss and manages to straddle me in the process. He leans an arm on my chest as he opens the fly on my jeans, the pressure on my chest and abdomen only make it harder to breathe and my lungs begin to burn. I can barely get any air in but this seems to be what Asher wants because when my fly is open he breaks the kiss. He doesn't break the kiss to let me breathe however he breaks the kiss to cover my mouth and pinch my nose closed. Panic sets in, I try to scream but it's lost against the rough skin of Asher's hand. My lungs begin to burn, my head gets foggy I try to take Asher's hand away, when that doesn't work I try to scratch him. I'm not sure if I actually succeed but he grabs my wrists and holds them together. Things start to grow dark, my vision blurs, the breath in my body no more I succumb to the black and wonder if I will die like this.

Death does not take me tonight but when I wake I am still in the nightmare only it's worse. While I was unconscious Asher got my shoes, jeans and panties off but left my shirt, bra and even jacket on. He's lying on me and it's still hard to breathe, no not lying on me he's raping me! He's inside me, he's thrusting, he's stealing my virginity and it hurts, it hurts so terribly, burning like a hot fire poker is stabbing me and ripping through me. When my eyes finally focus after the blackness and through the tears I see Asher is smiling, grinning like a child in a candy store. Tears flow from my eyes and I try to make noise but nothing seems to come out. When I try to lift my hands I realize they're pinned under my own body which is pinned under his. I can't move, I can't cry out all I can do is lie here and be raped by this man that I so admired.

"Clare are you here?" Eli calls into the house and finally there's a glimmer of hope! Eli is here, he'll save me. "Clare I know it's late but I wanted to see how the article went," he says while coming up the stairs.

"E…" I try to call and my voice cracks, "Eli," I manage to choke out but not very loud and Asher clamps his hand over my mouth as he continues to rape me. I hear Eli's footsteps approaching he'll see what's going on and do something. Hit Asher, maybe even kill him and save me.

"Clare what the hell are you doing?" Eli exclaims from the doorway he hasn't stepped into the room yet. I can't move to see him and Asher has me blocked from Eli's view but I know he's in the doorway from the distance of his voice. Why isn't he running into the room and ripping Asher off of me?

"Sorry Eli Clare doesn't want to see you anymore, as you can see," Asher says without turning to look at Eli.

"You cheating bitch I can't believe you…wait yes I can you've wanted this since day one of your internship haven't you? I don't know why I ever took you back," Eli seethes and runs out of the house slamming the front door on his way out.

My tears already flowing like a stream come in torrents now, soaking my skin and the pillow beneath my head. They roll down my cheeks and Asher removes his hand from my mouth, wiping my tears from his hand to my jacket. Eli is gone, he listened to Asher and didn't even try he just left me, how could he just go like that? Why didn't he come into the room? Why didn't he try and talk to me? Why didn't he try anything? How could he just leave me to get raped? Take Asher's word that I wanted this?

"People will believe anything Clare, as long as you sound like it's the truth, a little journalism trick," Asher says like we're in his office and he's still mentoring me rather than my bedroom and he's raping me.

Every piece of me hurts, inside, outside, even my soul hurts, it's breaking, my soul is breaking with every thrust Asher takes. This pain that I feel will never leave, the physical pain will fade but the other pain will never leave and I will never be the same.

Finally after a tormenting eternity, or so it felt to me, he stops. Pulls out and gets off of me sitting on the end of the bed. I curl up and continue weeping but I do see he wore a condom, which he takes off. I feel him get off the bed and hear him getting dressed again as I lie there and cry, my insides, pelvis and legs burning and the rest of me screaming in pain.

"Get up and shower," Asher demands but all I can do is lie there and cry. "I said get up and shower Clare," he says louder and with more authority.

I listen this time simply because I don't know what else to do. My mind has gone numb, the only thought I can hold is that I was raped. I get up slowly but moving is even more painful. I walk to the washroom and turn on the shower, I take off my coat, shirt and bra then get in and don't even mind how hot the water is. Asher leaves the room and I sink to the floor turning the water temperature down a little. Drawing my knees to my chest I wrap my arms around them, put my head down and cry again. The salt water flows from my eyes without end; I may never stop crying again. After some time Asher comes back, I hear his footsteps but I don't look up.

"Get out, get dressed," he tells me turning off the shower. I pull myself up and get a towel, wrapping it around me and walking slowly back to my room. "Your sheets are in the washer and if you're thinking about telling anyone about this remember the statistics on rape convictions, think about what a trial would do to your life and family. Now get some sleep and don't worry you won't have to come in tomorrow," Asher says and then he's gone.

Once I hear the front door close I run down and lock it, then turn and slide down the door and I cry again. I'm sobbing so hard I can hardly breathe, my body shakes and it doesn't even occur to me to put on clothes. Then just as suddenly as my crying began it stops, as if there are no more tears to be made, now I have a new feeling, a feeling of solitude. I'm alone and I'm terrified, I don't want to be alone and I don't want to bother anyone. I'm sure that Eli won't answer my call, I don't want to disturb Adam and I don't think I could keep it together well enough to call Alli and Jenna. I don't want to talk about it and I'm far too ashamed, petrified and broken down to even consider calling the police.

Eventually I do return upstairs but the sight of my bed stripped of it's sheets sends a chill through me. Knowing what Asher did to me on that bed I don't think I'll ever be able to sleep on it again. Worst of all is the smell, his smell hangs heavy in the air, it makes my stomach churn and I rush to the washroom in time to vomit in the sink. I feel like I'm falling apart, piece by piece I feel like all of me is crumbling away and by morning nothing will be left. I put on some loose sweats, grab my purse and backpack and go downstairs, turning on every light in the house and the TV. I'm not actually watching I just sit there for the rest of the night staring at it, shaking and sobbing every so often. When my sheets are done in the washer I take them outside and throw them away, I never want to see them again. I shower again, toss my sweats and go downstairs in my bathrobe that was hanging in the washroom.

When the sun comes up I hear noises outside, something is left at the door. I almost don't answer it but when I'm sure whoever left the box is gone I cautiously open the door. Asher left my co-op time sheet, all the remaining time boxes have been signed so that it looks like I went and I never have to go back. There's a copy of the article we did, it will be in Friday's what's happening section. There's my name in a byline, I should be thrilled but I feel like throwing up again instead. He also left some glowing comments saying things like I'm a brilliant writer and mature beyond my years. With this he left a small stack of recommendations letters, all with high praise and sure to get me into nearly any journalism school. I almost burn them but decide to just put this all behind me and move on, I won't ever have to see Asher again and I'm going to try very hard to pretend last night never happened.

I refuse to return to my room but I have some clean clothes in the dryer thankfully. I dress like I do for any other day at school, despite how uncomfortable it is. I don't eat because I don't think I can stomach food but I grab my purse, put it in my backpack and start walking to school. I'm determined to not let anything show, my resolve to go on like nothing in the world is very strong, and lasts about five minutes after I leave the house. The pain in my hips and pubic area is a terrible sharp burning making walking a much harder task than normal. When I get whistled at by an older guy near The Dot tears flood my eyes, not because he whistled but the emotions it brings up. I stop walking and lean against the wall of the drug store across from The Dot.

"Clare you okay?" Fitz's voice makes me look up. He works at The Dot still, he's an assistant manager now, he's even friends with Owen and Bianca again. We haven't talked much but sometimes we chat idly while he's ringing up my order.

"Yeah I'm fine, I have to get to school," I reply quickly and under my breath before I turn and run to school.

Running was really dumb because when I do get to school I can barely walk I hurt so much. I make it to the garden and sit down, there's a few other people in the garden, they give me a look but don't say anything. I stay here for a while just breathing, trying not to think or cry and praying I can keep even reasonably together for the rest of the school day. I don't move until I hear the bell ring but sitting on a wooden bench after running was not bright and I whimper when I stand up. This attracts the attention of more than one person but no one says anything. I go into my locker getting my books and Adam appears.

"Eli asked me to take over play practice this afternoon, he said you two broke up because you left him for another guy? You want to tell me what's going on?" Adam inquires.

"Nothing," I respond closing my locker. I turn to walk to class but Adam grabs my arm and I pull it away which makes Adam shrink back a little. Jerking my arm out of his touch was instinctual, it wasn't Adam's touch I was pulling away from. It's like a delayed reaction, when Adam first touched me I felt Asher but after pulling my arm away I feel that it was Adam's touch. I turn away from Adam, biting my lip and biting back the tears that threaten to break free.

"Clare what in the hell happened last night? You were happy and dating Eli, writing an article for his play and this morning you're both acting weird," Adam says but there's a pleading tone to his voice.

"Nothing Adam, nothing happened Eli just…" even saying his name makes a lump in my throat. I close my eyes again remembering how he left me last night, how he didn't even come in the room and just listened to Asher. I feel sick again, and betrayed by Eli that he could just runaway like that. I start shaking, the tears break free and I can't talk. I look at Adam, wanting to tell him but I can't speak, the words get lost and strangled by my tears. So instead of talking I drop all my stuff and take off running down the hall.

"CLARE," Adam calls after me but he's not following he must be picking up all my stuff. I run to the storage room going through the door and leaning against it.

"Oh it's you," Dallas says appearing from behind some shelves. "You look upset you want a beer?" He offers holding up a can.

"Yes," I reply without even thinking about it. I walk over and take the beer; Dallas motions for me to follow him and walks me back to where there are several other Ice Hounds. Owen is here and looks at us with a concerned expression, the others seem amused or they're laughing.

"Clare what are you doing here?" Owen asks.

"She wanted a beer," Dallas shrugs and Owen looks at me, I nod to say that it was my choice.

"Okay but you're not having one here with these pigs," Owen says standing up. He comes over taking the beer from my hand. He sets it down and grabs my hand but I yank it away. "You want to drink fine but I don't trust these guys now come on," Owen commands in a strong voice and I follow him.

**(FITZ)**

After seeing Clare this morning I was worried about her, she was obviously shaken by something, she looked tired and like she'd been crying. I was thinking about her while working, not that such a thing is entirely uncommon but I'm not usually this worried about her. When I see Owen driving up with Clare in the passenger seat I'm even more worried, he parks outside looks inside and directly at me and motions for me to meet him out back.

"Teryl I'm going on break," I tell her.

"Isn't it a little early?" She asks.

"Just watch the front," I reply taking off my apron and walking out back.

"Hey I need the keys for Above the Dot," Owen informs me.

"Uh okay why?" I inquire.

"Clare wants to drink, which I don't have a problem with, but she was about to do so with the Ice Hounds and I know what happens when girls drink with them. I'm going to keep an eye on her in the club because something is obviously up but I'll have to get to class in an hour," Owen says.

"Bring her down when you go to class she can hang out in the café. Hang on I'll get the keys," I tell Owen.

I go inside and grab the keys to the club; Clare was looking down and turned away from us that whole time. She never said a word and never looked up. I grab the keys and give them to Owen, he tells Clare to follow him and they go upstairs. I go back inside and back to work wondering what's going on with Clare. I have Teryl keep watching the front since we only have a few customers; I go back to the office and call a few employees to see if anyone wants an extra shift. Toby says he'll come in after his class at Centennial which gets out in an hour. He'll arrive just in time for the lunch rush so as soon as I know he's coming in I inform Teryl of this and tell her I'm taking the day off. I go upstairs and find Clare with Owen; she's slowly sipping a beer on the sofa while Owen watches her from the arm chair.

"Got the rest of the day off," I say sitting in the other arm chair.

"She's taken about three sips from that beer, she's just been sitting there staring and she won't speak," Owen enlightens me.

"She can hear you," Clare says from the sofa.

"She does speak; you want to tell us what's with you today?" Owen asks her.

"Nothing, nothing is wrong everything is peachy the world is full unicorns and rainbows," Clare responds bitterly.

"See that right there is what I'm talking about, yesterday you never would have said crap like that. And I'm pretty sure you never had a sip of alcohol before this, although I'm not sure three sips of beer count," Owen comments. Clare shoots us a look but doesn't say anything; she looks back at her beer can. "Yeah well I need to get back to school I have class soon. Watch her and text me if you need help, you know as well as I do how crazy people can be when they're upset so don't let her out of your sight," Owen tells me standing up and I nod. He goes over getting in front of Clare, standing in front of her until she looks at him, "Stay with Fitz and don't do anything too stupid okay?"

Clare nods, biting her lip and looks like she might burst into tears again. Owen waves to me and leaves the club, I look at Clare but she's looking back at her beer can. She doesn't say anything and I just sit there studying her face, at different points she looks like she might burst into tears or start ripping off her own skin. I wish I knew what was happening, what had happened to make her this way this morning. I also think I've seen that look before, not on Clare other people but I just can't place it. I guess she's not able to hold the tears back because they suddenly burst from her eyes like someone turned on a faucet. I jump up and go sit by her, I put my hand on her shoulder to comfort her and she makes shriek, jumping up and crying harder. When she jumps up she drops her beer and it starts leaking on the floor, she looks at it and cries even harder.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she blubbers sinking down to her knees and crumpling up.

"Clare it's okay, people spill their drinks here all the time, don't worry about it," I assure her grabbing some paper towels from the washroom and mopping up the beer. I toss the soaked paper towels and the empty can and go back to Clare. I think I know what happened but the thought is making me ill, I kneel down by her but keep my distance so I don't scare her. "Clare were you raped?" I ask praying that's not what happened. She doesn't say anything but she begins bawling even harder and turns away from me so I take that as a yes. I feel like vomiting and killing someone all at once, how could someone do that to her. "Clare who was it? You need to tell me who it was?"

"No," she says sharply and standing quickly, "no I need to go." She starts running for the door but I'm not about to let her leave, I easily outpace her and block the door.

"Clare you can't leave who was it? Who hurt you please tell me," I beg.

"No you won't believe me, I can't tell anyone, get out of the way Fitz," she growls as she sobs. She's hysterical now; I don't think she's even thinking at all.

"I will believe you Clare but you need to tell me who it was," I insist again taking a step toward her with my hand out.

"NO STAY AWAY FROM ME!" She screams and slaps me across the face with her nails out so she scratches my face. When she sees what she did she changes again, her anger goes and is replaced by shame, she looks at me full of fear and guilt like I was a monster a second ago and just become a man again. "I'm sorry Fitz I didn't mean to…I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry," she snivels as she begins bawling harder and crumples to the floor again. I don't have any idea what to do or how to help, she's obviously not in her right mind and anything could make her snap. I don't know what to do but I know someone that might and I get out my phone, I'm fairly certain Bianca has a spare period now because she often comes into The Dot at this time.

"Hey Fitz," Bianca answers.

"Hey I need you at Above the Dot like right now, it's unlocked just come up," I tell her and hang up I know Bianca will come without needing an explanation.

I sit in a bar stool and watch Clare crying, my instinct is to hold her but she'll probably just hit me again so all I can do is keep me my distance and keep her from bolting. Thankfully Bianca opens the front door a moment later.

"Who broke Clare?" Bianca asks upon seeing her.

"That's what I'm trying to find out, she was raped I got that much from her but when I tried to find out who she tried to run. I blocked the door and tried to talk to her, she sort of exploded and slapped me, that's how I got this," I inform Bianca showing her the scratches on my cheek. "When she realized she hurt me she just broke down again, just as you see her now," I explain.

"Bloody fucking hell if Eli raped her I'll string him up and eviscerate him," Bianca says.

"It wasn't Eli, he betrayed me, he just left me there, he didn't even try he just left me," Clare babbles while shaking her head, her words barely understandable as they come between sobs.

"Clare are you saying Eli was with you?" Bianca questions sitting on the floor just a few inches from Clare. She shakes her head but doesn't say anything; Bianca reaches over and takes Clare's hand. I expect Clare to pull her hand away but she doesn't, I guess Bianca's a girl so her touch doesn't have the same effect. "If Eli wasn't there then how did he betray you?" Bianca questions in a calm voice.

"He came to the house, he…he saw. I thought he was going to save me, going to do something but he didn't he just left," she wails and then she's crying so hard she can't breathe or talk. She puts her head on Bianca's shoulder and just cries.

"Well we still have a reason to kill Eli," Bianca comments. She lets Clare cry a few minutes before speaking again. "Clare we need to take you to the hospital, I know you don't want to but we have to. I'll be with you the whole time and so will Fitz if you want him to be," Bianca assures her.

"No he wore a condom and no one will believe me. I don't w…"

"I know," Bianca says cutting her off. "I know you don't want to but you need to, even if he wore a condom you could still have injuries. If you don't want to give his name no one will make you but we need to get you looked at. I know it's scary and embarrassing, I know you feel gross and dirty and like you did something wrong but you didn't you have to know that."

"How do you know?" Clare questions looking up at her now.

"Because I was raped, Vince raped me a lot but even before him I had been raped. I know what you're going through Clare, I know how it hurts and I know how you feel. I know that you'll never be the same and that you won't ever truly heal but you can get close. I know how easy it is to self-destruct I've been down that path and if not for my friends I would probably be dead right now. You're not alone Clare, whether you press charges or not, whatever happens you're not alone but I need you to trust me and you need to let us take you to the hospital," Bianca urges.

Clare sniffles her tears a little, taking a deep breath and she nods. Bianca helps her up and we go down to my car, Bianca sits in back with Clare while I drive us to the hospital. I hate what's been done to Clare and I'm angry but for now I'm staying cool for her sake. If I ever do find out who did it I will tear them a new asshole.

**(BIANCA)**

After we told the reception nurse that Clare had been raped we were taken upstairs instead of made to wait in the waiting room. She let me help her change but made Fitz wait in the waiting room the whole time. She didn't want him in the room at all but I understand and I remember how frightening and uncomfortable my first rape exam was. I stayed in the room with her and she squeezed my hand while the female doctor did her exam. She cried and screamed as I knew she would, as I did and as I'm pretty sure every girl does when they have to undergo a rape exam. She had to do a urine test and she didn't need me in the washroom with her so I was walking to the waiting room to give Fitz an update.

"How is she? No don't answer that it was a stupid question," he says when he sees me.

"She hated the exam; she's doing a urine test now. She'll be done soon and we can go but she shouldn't go home alone or back to school. Somehow I doubt we can keep her in the club too long," I inform Fitz. He opens his mouth and then stops looking past me; I follow his gaze and see the doctor that was examining Clare come in.

"Well I have somewhat good news; there was very little bruising or injuries. Physically she should heal entirely in a couple of days. She's refusing to press charges but even if she did I'm afraid there isn't any evidence. We found no trace of seamen, no fibers, no pubic hair all she has is some very minor bruising. Such bruising is very common for a girl's first time and it would not hold up in court. Even when there is evidence a rape case is hard to prove and without evidence it's impossible. Look if she wants to press charges and a case goes forward everything we found is in there, I can testify as an expert witness but she should know what it entails. We can give you the information for the local rape support groups s…"

"I have that information," I speak up cutting the doctor off.

"Okay well Clare should be done and getting dressed again if you want to go back Bianca," the doc says to me.

I nod and Fitz says he'll see us in a minute, when I get back to Clare's room I knock on the door and she opens it but she's already dressed. She comes out and looks at me now, I know the look on her face, I've had that look myself. It's the look of I've been raped, now I've had to go through a very embarrassing exam and it can't possibly get much worse, but I'll still put on a skin of steel and never let anyone in again just to be safe. I put my hand at her back and we walk to the waiting room where Fitz is waiting and he has a folder which must have all the stuff from the doctor in it, he also holds a slip of paper.

"The doctor gave me some prescriptions to fill just to be safe. They said they'd call with your test results and I gave them my number. I can take you home if you want," Fitz offers.

"No," Clare shakes her head.

"You can come back to my apartment, I'll stay with you," Fitz says.

Clare's eyes fill tears and she grips my hand, I know that it's not Fitz that she'd afraid of or mistrusts. It doesn't matter though he's a guy and she was severely hurt by a guy and for the moment at least she's afraid of all of them. I've been there too and I know how hard it is to remember who her friends are and who the bad guy is.

"Clare you know Fitz won't hurt you, you know he cares about you right?" I ask and she nods. "Good then let's go to his apartment, you can stay there and I'll come back right after school," I tell her and she nods again.

We stop at the pharmacy downstairs and then get back in Fitz's car. Fitz drives us to his apartment and I go up with them, Clare sits on the sofa and Fitz turns on the TV giving her the remote. She starts flipping channels and I look at Fitz.

"You can take my car," he says.

"That's okay we're not that far and there's a bus stop close by. Just stay with her and call me if there's a problem," I tell him.

I tell Clare I'm leaving and she nods absentmindedly, I wave to Fitz and leave. I manage to catch the bus and it takes me right back to DeGrassi, lunch is over in ten minutes and I haven't eaten but I'm not very hungry anyway.

"Where in the hell have you been? I called you a bunch of times," Drew admonishes when I walk to my locker.

"Sorry Babe I had my phone off, should probably turn that back on," I comment kissing Drew quickly before I pull out my phone and turn it on again.

"So where were you?" Drew asks again.

"I was helping Fitz with Clare," I reply.

"Why is Fitz with Clare and why does he need help with her?" Drew questions.

"Do you know what the hell happened to her? Are they still at the club?" Owen asks appearing from behind me and startling me a little.

"Yeah she was raped," I inform them.

"She was what?" Owen exclaims while Drew just looks ill, he actually goes green and looks like he might vomit.

"Yeah and I don't know by who but I know that it happened last night at her house," I tell them.

"Fuck," Drew breathes out.

"In her own house, wasn't her family there?" Owen questions.

"No," Drew shakes his head, "no Adam said her family is gone that they went to Jake's grandma's and Clare's home alone. Didn't you notice that Jake's been out all week?"

"No I don't give a crap what Jake does, who the fuck would rape her at her own house?!" Owen growls.

"If they knew she was alone maybe someone broke in," Drew postulates slowly as the thought makes him go green again.

"Yeah well that's not the worst part," I say and they look at me with shock.

"You're telling me it gets worse?" Owen questions.

"The worst part is Eli came by while it was happening, he saw her getting raped and he just left her there," I enlighten them.

"WHAT?!"

Drew turns and takes off down the hall, Eli isn't here today so I don't know where he's going. Still Owen and I follow him, he runs for Adam's locker, where Adam is and he's with Dave.

"Is Eli at home?" Drew questions his brother.

"Yeah I think so why?" Adam questions obviously confused.

"Because I'm going to kill him," Drew states.

"No you shouldn't fight anymore with your concussion," Owen says, "let me kill him."

"Will someone tell me what the hell is going on?" Adam inquires and we all look at him since he so rarely swears.

"Clare was raped in her home last night and Eli saw it happen and just left her there," I tell Adam.

While Dave starts rapidly asking questions Adam goes green, turns and runs to a trash can losing his lunch in it. Drew and I go over to see if Adam is okay while Owen listens to Dave's questions.

"I can't believe he'd just leave her," Adam whispers.

"He did, or Clare said he did but she's in shock still. I don't think she'd make that part up though and didn't you say they broke up?" I ask Adam and he nods. "Well then he came over and saw it happening and…I don't know…"

"I'll talk to him after school, where's Clare?" Adam queries.

"Fitz and I took her to the hospital to get examined, she's at his apartment now," I tell Adam and he nods as the bell rings.

"Come on Drew we have class, we'll get it sorted out after school. At least Clare is in good hands with Fitz," I point out to my boyfriend. He grumbles a little and so does Owen. Dave walks with Adam to class but Adam still looks ill not that I blame him, he did just find out that his best friend was raped. Worse than that he found out his other best friend and her boyfriend walked in on it and left her there!

**(CLARE)  
><strong>

I wake up crying.

As I have been the last few days.

The first time I actually slept after the assault was in Fitz's apartment. After Bianca left I just fell asleep on the sofa to the TV. I slept for hours and woke up crying, Fitz held me and it was the first time since the assault that I didn't fear a man's touch. It was actually comforting, I felt safe, or at least as safe as I had felt since the assault. It's been three days now, three days of living in this shadow and feeling eternally dirty and ashamed. Bianca says it gets better but I don't see how. I stayed out of school for three days, I missed the rest of the week and the premier of the play, not that I would have gone or that Eli would have wanted me there. Adam and Dave know about the rape; Jenna and Alli found out as did Owen and Drew. They haven't told anyone else and neither have I, nor do I want anyone else to know. Mom, Glen and Jake return home tonight but I haven't been home since leaving for school the morning after the attack. I've been staying at Fitz's apartment, he takes the sofa and I sleep in the bed. He takes me to school in the morning and I meet him at The Dot afterward. I've been here almost four days now and I don't plan on going home tonight. I already told Mom I was sleeping at Alli's tonight and she's prepared to cover for me.

"It's okay you're safe, he's not here, he can't hurt you," Fitz assures me sitting next to me and holding me close.

I nod and hold him, I know Asher isn't here but it doesn't make the nightmare any less real. I cry for a few minutes and then I stop, wiping the tears from my eyes I look up at Fitz with a sad but grateful smile, grateful that he's here and that he's put up with me for the last three days, I haven't exactly been easy. I feel really bad for scratching him that first day but I was going a little crazy.

"You don't have to go today if you aren't ready," Fitz says.

"I don't think I'll ever be ready but Bianca keeps telling me it will help and she's been through this, more than once," I reply.

Today Bianca was taking me to a rape support group. I didn't really want to go; I didn't see how it could possibly help to share horror stories with other victims. I had already told Fitz that it was Asher who raped me, there was little to be done about it. Owen, Drew and Bianca had confronted Eli and he told them that he came over and found me screwing my idol and was now in some twisted relationship with him. It didn't matter what anyone told Eli he kept saying he knows what he saw, Asher even told him so and besides I had been fawning over and gushing about Asher since day one. Eli said it was obvious I was in love with Asher and he wasn't surprised I had given in and slept with Asher. Owen had given Eli a black eye for all these comments and I wasn't speaking to him any longer. When I was at school Adam, Dave, Jenna, Alli, Bianca, Drew and Owen were always with me in some combination. Everyone else at school knew that Eli and I had broken up; most people heard that I'd slept with someone else. The majority thought it was Fitz and that's who I was now dating, and I was just fine letting everyone think that.

Fitz told the others it was Asher that raped me and so Owen and Drew cornered and confronted him the other night. Asher of course denied everything, rather he said the sex was consensual and I wanted it, he said nothing incriminating he was too smart for that. There was no evidence and even Eli wouldn't be any help as he believed I was a willing participant. Didn't matter I had no intentions of going through a trial, I wanted to forget, not that I could but I was sure as hell going to try. When Asher wouldn't admit to anything and I wouldn't press charges Owen and the others spray painted RAPIST all over Asher's car. It made the front page, not of the Interpreter because they tried to hide it but it ran in three other papers, and he was now being scrutinized. It wasn't quite as satisfying as being sent to prison to be someone's bitch but it did have a ring of justice to it. Even if he painted over it all he would always hold that reputation now.

"I hope it does help. Do you want me to go to your place and pick up some more clothes? That is if you're staying here for longer," Fitz says.

"I'm staying as long as you don't mind, I honestly don't know if I'll ever feel safe at home again. Even if I did I could never sleep in my room again, when I got dressed that morning I wanted to throw up as soon as I entered my room. I grabbed my clothes and I haven't been back," I tell him putting my head on his shoulder.

"You don't have to go back, not until you're ready, you're welcome to stay here. I like having you here," Fitz grins and I smile back. "It's a little after seven I'll make us some coffee and breakfast if you're hungry," Fitz says.

"Not hungry just coffee," I reply.

I get up and follow Fitz out to the living room, the blankets and pillows he was using on the sofa are still here. I sit down and put on the TV, Fitz brings me a mug of coffee a few minutes later. Eventually he does make us breakfast and we have an easy morning before we leave for The Dot to meet the others.

"We'll meet you guys at Drew's place after the group, if there's a problem I'll call you Fitz," Bianca tells him when we go in.

"Thanks," he says to her and smiles at me, "Adam and I will go to your house and grab some of your stuff."

Everyone else says goodbye or good luck and we leave, Bianca drives us to the community center where the support group is held. We go into a room where chairs are set up in a circle; a table near the door has donuts and coffee. I take a donut and cup of coffee and sit down with Bianca. There are girls that look younger than me in this room, a couple in their sixties at least and every age in between. There are also a few guys, I did know that there were male rape victims but seeing them, the pain they carry in their eyes, the same pain I carry, it's a whole different thing.

A woman enters; she's more put together than the rest of us and doesn't carry that pain in her eyes so she must be the doctor that runs the group. She introduces herself and welcomes everyone to the group; she especially welcomes me because I'm new and welcomes Bianca back. Everyone introduces themselves by first name only; when that's done Dr. Gold asks who wants to speak. I listen to a few people speak, one tells her story but the others mostly talk about how they've been coping since their assaults. Some are doing pretty good, others are barely getting by. When it's nearing the end of group Dr. Gold asks if I want to speak. Bianca encourages me to so I take a deep breath and tell my story from beginning to end. I leave out specific names and details but otherwise I tell them everything, I haven't even told Fitz everything but it just pours out of me in one cathartic torrent of words and emotion. I cry and yell, even scream but no one seems to mind, Bianca holds me, the others encourage me and I have the feeling they've all done this or something similar at one point or other. When I'm finished the others in the group offer words of encouragement and I have to admit it helped, so does knowing I'm not alone.

"Thanks for making me go I do feel better," I tell Bianca when we're back in her car.

"I knew you would, I know it's hard but it helps," Bianca smiles.

"Thanks for all your support, I mean I still feel like I'm constantly about to crack but without you, Fitz and the others it would be so much worse. Will it ever be normal again?" I question.

"Not the way you remember it, it'll be a different normal," she says.

"I'll be happy when I no longer have this fear constantly hanging over me, or this anger. When I don't think every guy is going to hurt me. Well every guy besides Fitz, Owen, Adam, Drew and Dave," I remark.

"Yeah that will take a while, trusting people again takes a long time. It might take as long as it takes for you to go back to your house. What are you going to tell your mom anyway?" Bianca asks.

"Probably that I'm moving in with my dad," I reply as she pulls up to Adam's house.

We get out and go through the basement doors, they ordered pizza for lunch and I actually feel hungry. I grab some pizza and sit by Adam, Bianca tells them I did really good in group and I tell them it helped. Fitz and the others all went to my house and pretty much packed up my room apparently as they weren't sure what I'd need.

"You can stay at my place as long as you like, guess you're sort of moving in," Fitz tells me and I smile a little.

"I'll tell my mom I'm living with my dad," I announce to everyone.

"We won't tell her any different," Jenna assures me.

We hang out late into the night, Mom calls when she's home disappointed that I'm not there and I tell her I'm moving in with Dad. When she asks why all I can say is I can't be at the house. She's not happy but she gives in, not that she has much of a choice. At midnight Dallas returns home having spent most of the day and night with Luke and some of the guys, this is also when Audra kicks out anyone that doesn't live at the house. Dallas knows only that I was raped and Eli knows about it and that's why we broke up, but Dallas knows nothing else nor do I want him to.

"We brought all your stuff in, I put it all in the bedroom you can take it over I'll move out to the living room," Fitz says when we're back in his apartment.

"Thanks Mark, for everything. Without you and Bianca I never would have made it. And Owen too, if he hadn't stopped me from having that beer with Dallas and the Ice Hounds and brought me to you, if you hadn't stayed with me and called Bianca I would have lost it that first day. I sort of did, I still feel bad for scratching you," I tell him.

"Don't be, you weren't exactly yourself and after what you'd been through I'm surprised you were even functioning as well as you were," Fitz replies with a kind grin.

"Still not everyone would have been so understanding or let me take over their apartment. You've done a lot for me Mark and I can never thank you enough or tell you how much I appreciate all of it," I say and stand on my tiptoes to place a chaste kiss on his lips. It's a quick kiss but Fitz's eyes go wide and he's gaping at me.

"You kissed me," he grins and I giggle.

"A small token of thanks."

"You kissed me," he says again. "I didn't think you'd…I mean you still pull away when Owen or Drew tries to so much as put a hand on your shoulder. You let me hold you when you're crying but you kissed me," he repeats but he's smiling.

"I trust you Mark, as much as I can trust anyone these days. I think I'm starting to heal, just the tiniest most miniscule little bit but I'm on the path."

"Good that's really really good. You'll tell me what I can do to help, I'll do anything," he comments.

"I know," I grin, "and you already are."

**So that does it for one shot week, hope you all enjoyed. The regular schedule and the longer stories return tomorrow (yay!) I know it feels like they've been gone forever. **


End file.
